Obituaries

Barbara Alexander Walsh
B: 1932-03-13
D: 2018-05-18
View Details
Walsh, Barbara Alexander
Sergius James Bernard
B: 1934-03-17
D: 2018-05-17
View Details
Bernard, Sergius James
Paul Leo Colleton
B: 1939-03-26
D: 2018-05-06
View Details
Colleton, Paul Leo
Joseph Regan
B: 1924-09-14
D: 2018-04-28
View Details
Regan, Joseph
Robert L. "Bob" Mauro
B: 1929-04-11
D: 2018-04-27
View Details
Mauro, Robert L. "Bob"
Armando Porrazzo
B: 1928-09-14
D: 2018-04-26
View Details
Porrazzo, Armando
Robert Arthur Dion
B: 1947-06-24
D: 2018-04-21
View Details
Dion, Robert Arthur
Patricia L. "Pat" (Troy) Kelly
B: 1947-05-17
D: 2018-04-21
View Details
Kelly, Patricia L. "Pat" (Troy)
Mary Ann (Carley) Chambers
B: 1923-03-29
D: 2018-04-20
View Details
Chambers, Mary Ann (Carley)
John R. Santamaria, Sr.
B: 1922-12-30
D: 2018-04-17
View Details
Santamaria, Sr., John R.
Maria Teresa (Olohan) Flanders
B: 1979-03-22
D: 2018-04-14
View Details
Flanders, Maria Teresa (Olohan)
Catherine A. (Doherty) Higden
B: 1925-12-10
D: 2018-04-11
View Details
Higden, Catherine A. (Doherty)
Robert W. Kendall
B: 1936-02-20
D: 2018-04-10
View Details
Kendall, Robert W.
Maria C. (Rivera) McKennedy
B: 1947-09-04
D: 2018-04-09
View Details
McKennedy, Maria C. (Rivera)
Janice (Lally) DeChellis
B: 1942-07-15
D: 2018-04-02
View Details
DeChellis, Janice (Lally)
Richard N. Howe
B: 1938-01-28
D: 2018-04-01
View Details
Howe, Richard N.
Eric W. Rober
B: 1963-10-01
D: 2018-03-31
View Details
Rober, Eric W.
Edward R. Ferguson, Jr.
D: 2018-03-30
View Details
Ferguson, Jr., Edward R.
Donald L. Cumming
B: 1931-03-25
D: 2018-03-28
View Details
Cumming, Donald L.
Daniel Massa J. Sawyer
B: 1992-03-30
D: 2018-03-24
View Details
Sawyer, Daniel Massa J.
Laura Jane (Peterson) Foote
B: 1926-10-24
D: 2018-03-24
View Details
Foote, Laura Jane (Peterson)

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
470 Massachusetts Avenue
PO Box 882
Acton, MA 01720
Phone: 978-263-5333
Fax: 978-263-8193

Ending Denial and Finding Acceptance

Acceptance is the very first task in your bereavement. Dr. James Worden writes that we must "come full face with the reality that the person is dead, that the person is gone and will not return."

This is where a funeral can be very important. Traditionally, the casketed body of the deceased is at the front of the room and guests are invited to step up to personally say their goodbyes. Part of stepping up means seeing with our own eyes that death has actually occurred and that actualizing is an essential part of coming to accept the death. Yet, the tradition of viewing has eroded over time with many families today choosing cremation and opting to hold a memorial service after the cremation has taken place. The focal point of the ceremony becomes the cremation urn, holding the cremated remains or ashes out-of-sight and making the reality of the death less evident and the road to acceptance less clearly marked.

Acceptance May Seem Out-of-Reach

For many, acceptance means agreeing to reality. Most of us, when we lose someone dear to us, simply don't want to agree to it; we actually have an aversion to agreeing and accepting. So, let's use a different word - try adjustment, or integration. Both words focus on the purposeful release of disbelief. Someone who has integrated the death of a loved one into their life has cleared the path to creating a new life; a pro-active life where a loved one's memory is held dear, perhaps as a motivating force for change.

It does take time. In Coping with the Loss of a Loved One, the American Cancer Society cautions readers that "acceptance does not happen overnight. It’s common for it to take a year or longer to resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it’s normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years after their death. In time, the person should be able to reclaim the emotional energy that was invested in the relationship with the deceased, and use it in other relationships." 

Whatever you call it, this essential part of mourning is what allows us to live fully again. It allows us to step out of the darkness of mere existence and back into the sunshine where life is sweet again. Of course, it's a very different life than the one you had before your loved one died.

Sources:
Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.

American Cancer Society, "Coping with the Loss of a Loved One", 2012